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She Likes Her Oreo's Double Stuffed!

Updated: Apr 15

2021. I'm home during our government mandated covid shut down. I have been working since I was five years old. This is no exaggeration. My dad put me to work every weekend to help him set up weddings he floral designed. By age 11, I was receiving paychecks on a regular basis for working in theatre. So..... I've always been a bit addicted to working and was blind sighted by the fact that ----I was, not working.


So, what does one do when they are bored and not working? Drink wine and get stoned of course. I was feeling "Fine and Dandy," as George Carlin joked about in his stand up comedy. "Fine and Dandy" me was sitting on the couch watching Star Trek (which is super cool when your stoned, by the way), and my husband comes in with a basket of laundry to fold. As he's working on this task, he takes a good look at me and says, "You feeling pretty good?"


"Yep!," is the only reply I was capable of at the moment.


He tells me he's going to go the store and buy some groceries.


"Can I pick up something for you."


"OREOS!" I say with supreme conviction.


"Oreos? Hmmmm!" His bottom lip protrudes out, as it always does when he's about ready to say some snarky shit, and if he doesn't say it, I know he's thinking it


He goes on further to educate me on the fact the there's such a thing as chocolate covered Oreos. My stoned ass in previous year already knew this valuable information.


"Yes," I nod. "But, they are only single stuffed. Why can't they make their chocolate covered Oreos double stuffed like a normal person?"


I can see my husband is becoming somewhat exasperated with me. He says, "Where do I get chocolate covered Oreos?"


Now, this man has a Masters Degree from Penn State and I couldn't believe he would ask me such a stupid question.


Now, I'm exasperated with him and I guess I had to give him the most OBVIOUS information available. But, for some reason, I blurted my answer out like a stereotypical

hillbilly on "Hee Haw!"


As I point my stoned finger in the general direction that the neighborhood grocery store is located, I answered with a big huff and puff, "You just go on down there to the store and you get some!"


My husband turned his head slowly in disbelief to take a better look at his idiot inebriated and stoned wife, slowly completed folding a towel, got out of his seat, sank to all fours on the carpet, rolled onto his back and proceeded to laugh like a hyena.


Once this happened, I realized how stupid I sounded and joined with him in the resounding laughter.


But, seriously folks. Can anyone tell me why chocolate covered Oreos don't come with double stuff option?


Copyright Kama Maccioli aka Kama Ruby dba:unsupported productions

Photo of Kama Ruby by April Salazar- April Showers Photography. Owned by Kama Ruby


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